Funerals are very personal affairs designed to honor the life that’s been lost, and visiting one comes with an imperative to be respectful and considerate and to be there. Etiquette applies to all funeral services; Vancouver is no exception, but being prepared always helps. Here are some basic etiquette rules to keep in mind when attending a funeral ceremony.
Dress with Respect
In terms of clothing, it’s best to play it safe and be conservative unless the family otherwise instructs. Since a lot of Vancouver funeral services are modified to suit the needs of various cultural backgrounds, the dress code can be affected by this. Dark, muted or somber black is generally safe and respectful to wear. Flashy colours and casual wear are rarely acceptable, unless the funeral ceremony asks for it, as funerals are a way to show respect to the deceased and their loved ones.
Be Early, Come Quietly
Punctuality is important as it limits disruptions to the service. However, if you might be late, come into the premises quietly and sit towards the back so that you do not become a distraction during the service. Remember to show respect to the deceased individual and support the family. At funeral services, Vancouver family members are very emotional, so turn off your cell phone before arrival and refrain from unnecessary chatting during the service. A greeting or nod to the family will do until it is more suitable to express condolences.
Understand Your Role
Not everyone who attends the funeral will be the family and the closest group of friends. If you’re attending to support, make the immediate family members precede you in ritualistic or ceremonial procedures unless you are being specifically asked to say something or to do something specific. Otherwise, just be there and be respectful. In some funeral services, Vancouver families may invite you to take part in some religious tradition or cultural practice with which you are unfamiliar. It is usually appreciated if you quietly and respectfully acquiesce, even if you are unsure of the significance of the gestures and words spoken. If unsure, it is perfectly okay to observe respectfully without taking part.
A Step-by-Step Guide to Expressing Condolences
After the service, there is generally the chance to speak with the family, offer condolences and reflect on the deceased. Keep your words brief, sincere and natural. Avoid platitudes, and don’t try to explain or excuse their death. Simply say something like, “I’m so sorry to hear about your loss,” or “They will be greatly missed.” If bringing a sympathy card, bouquet, or gift donation is your preference, follow what has been stated in the obituary or invitation. Some may state a donation instead of flowers, and others may make known that a local charity or community organization is desired. Following this request is just one more way to show your support respectfully.
A City of Compassion
Vancouver is a diverse city with varying cultures, which are reflected in funeral services too. You may experience a Catholic mass, a Hindu cremation, or other cultural ceremony, but always remember to show up to offer support with kindness and humility. Your presence and participation highlight your efforts in respecting feelings and traditions, which will always be appreciated.
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Oliveira Funeral Home is family-owned and operated. Please let us know if we can be of any assistance to you or your family. We are available 24 hours / 7 days a week to answer any questions you may have.